I was walking the other day in Bangkok (Silom-Surawong area) under the mighty heat of the sun, when suddenly I felt something like a “panic attack”. I was not afraid or anything like that, it was just some kind of feeling which I could not control. You see, I have been walking for quite a distance looking for an address and, because I have not been in the area for a loooong time, I sort of underestimated the distance from the Chong Nonsi BTS station to the Mahesak-Surawong road.
There are times when reality strikes me that I have been living somewhere out there in the middle of nowhere, farther than the ‘burbs, even. So during those once in a blue moon occasions when I do get to step into the city, literally on my own two feet hmmmm…I try not to be obvious about it but I get affected by all the heat, noise, pollution, busyness of people etc. That’s because I am so used to living in the same area as where I work. And also because every time I go to Bangkok I drag my dear hubby with me so I have a free ride. But this time I was on my own, using public transpo and my own two feet. But I digress.
So about the “panic attack”. It was already past lunch time and I did not have lunch yet. But I have my lunch with me. I just did not have the chance to eat it yet. So probably because of the heat and tiredness from all that walking, and the noise around me, I just felt panicky. I just remembered thinking it was so hot and what if my blood pressure increased. And suddenly I just felt hot and tingling. I prayed silently to God for protection and to heal me from what I was feeling. I turned and walked back and went inside the first building I saw nearby, just to keep calm and cool down. While walking I was thinking that what if I collapsed there on the road or lost my bearings, and the police and media would come and it would be in the news and … whoa!
So when I went into the building, I asked the guard if he knew the address I was looking for, just to show I have a reason to go in. Actually I just wanted to rest inside. So I asked permission if I could stop a while to rest and eat my food (red bean pandan bread). Good I have this and a bottle of water with me. I think that I was just exhausted and was not used to walking in not so clean air. Anyway, I called the person I intended to meet for a clearer direction. I should have called earlier before walking that far.
After recovering from that strange feeling earlier, I went out to catch a taxi and finally I got to the place. It was not that far actually from where I stopped earlier. But because I had to take a taxi and the place is on a one way street, we had to make one whole round to get there.
I was thankful that the people I met were kind and goodhearted, and nobody took advantage of me. Thank God that He is always with me wherever I go, protecting and keeping me safe.