of soaring & dreaming

July 22, 2008

Panic attack? Or was it?

I was walking the other day in Bangkok (Silom-Surawong area) under the mighty heat of the sun, when suddenly I felt something like a “panic attack”. I was not afraid or anything like that, it was just some kind of feeling which I could not control. You see, I have been walking for quite a distance looking for an address and, because I have not been in the area for a loooong time, I sort of underestimated the distance from the Chong Nonsi BTS station to the Mahesak-Surawong road.

There are times when reality strikes me that I have been living somewhere out there in the middle of nowhere, farther than the ‘burbs, even. So during those once in a blue moon occasions when I do get to step into the city, literally on my own two feet hmmmm…I try not to be obvious about it but I get affected by all the heat, noise, pollution, busyness of people etc. That’s because I am so used to living in the same area as where I work. And also because every time I go to Bangkok I drag my dear hubby with me so I have a free ride. But this time I was on my own, using public transpo and my own two feet. But I digress.

So about the “panic attack”. It was already past lunch time and I did not have lunch yet. But I have my lunch with me. I just did not have the chance to eat it yet. So probably because of the heat and tiredness from all that walking, and the noise around me, I just felt panicky. I just remembered thinking it was so hot and what if my blood pressure increased. And suddenly I just felt hot and tingling. I prayed silently to God for protection and to heal me from what I was feeling. I turned and walked back and went inside the first building I saw nearby, just to keep calm and cool down. While walking I was thinking that what if I collapsed there on the road or lost my bearings, and the police and media would come and it would be in the news and … whoa!

So when I went into the building, I asked the guard if he knew the address I was looking for, just to show I have a reason to go in. Actually I just wanted to rest inside. So I asked permission if I could stop a while to rest and eat my food (red bean pandan bread). Good I have this and a bottle of water with me. I think that I was just exhausted and was not used to walking in not so clean air. Anyway, I called the person I intended to meet for a clearer direction. I should have called earlier before walking that far.

I don't mind the heat if I were on a beach like this (Taringting, Antique province)

I don't mind the heat if I were on a beach like this (Taringting, Antique province)

After recovering from that strange feeling earlier, I went out to catch a taxi and finally I got to the place. It was not that far actually from where I stopped earlier. But because I had to take a taxi and the place is on a one way street, we had to make one whole round to get there.

I was thankful that the people I met were kind and goodhearted, and nobody took advantage of me. Thank God that He is always with me wherever I go, protecting and keeping me safe.

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May 19, 2008

Rain & thanks

Filed under: Life stuff — carnationzky @ 10:20 am
Tags: , , , , , ,

Now, it is raining heavily. I like the sound of the rain on the roof. It’s good that it’s a holiday here in Thailand. So we are at home. It is during times like this that I can simply be thankful for a roof over my head. And not out there under the rain. Although there were many times when I was still small that we really enjoyed playing in the rain. Every time it started to get dark, we would will it to rain so we could go out of the house and play. Of course on the pretext that we would help with the clean up of the leaves and other debris esp from the roof. So the water could drop easily onto the container where we collected rainwater. That, too, we did, along with playing with my siblings. But now, where I am, I think people would think I am crazy if I went out and ran around our campus enjoying the rain. I wouldn’t mind if I have others with me, like my hubby. But no way will I ever convince him because he had a totally opposite experience when he was growing up. They were just not allowed to go out and get wet in the rain, because his parents said it was not good for health, and they would get sick from the cold. Well, that could be true in some places and with some people.

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